I grew up all my life being the most insecure person that I know. Insecure about my body (this came after marriage and gaining more than I anticipated), insecure about my traits and skills (I am not the most outgoing of-persons and would often fight tooth-and-nail to meet new people or be in the spotlight), and frankly, just unsure of my identity. I wanted to be who I could not, and would often get into a depressive-state-of-mind because my weaknesses were longer than my strengths.
Than good ‘ole Jesus came along and told me, proclaimed in fact, who I am! Perfect, beautiful, and important. I began to accept who I was and that Jesus was going to use all of my wonderful qualities for His purpose. Not one thing about myself, or yourself, is too insignificant or little!
One of the qualities I am still learning to accept is the introverted part of myself that gets overwhelmed and anxious when I’m surrounded by too many people, especially people I don’t know. I freak out a little when our church tells us to get into small groups and pray for one another (out loud). I congregate towards people that I know because I don’t want to step out of my comfort zone.
The reason I dislike this about myself is because my soul so deeply thirsts to connect with others, whether a stranger or not. I long to proclaim to the world of the wonderful un-dying love of Jesus, but am startled when that time arrives, why I don’t step out. I have all these powerful emotions inside me I feel towards Jesus that I want to share with others, but when I try to describe it or encourage someone, it comes out all garbled and confusing.
Than I cry out to the Lord, “Why?!” I long to be His hands and feet, but my personality type clashes with what my soul desires to do and who I want to be.
Jesus is teaching me that He made me this way for a reason! Yes, he is increasing my confidence, but I may never be the one to speak in front of large crowds. I am learning that who I am as an individual will align perfectly with what my calling is for the Lord.
I encourage you: Love your strengths and love your non-strengths. Jesus can use it all! And they are you…beautifully, gloriously you.
